now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
