Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
