You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
