sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
