Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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