My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
