Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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