I didn't shave. On purpose
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
She announced her abortion via fbk
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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