If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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