dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
