i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
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