Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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