i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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