so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
