Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
