when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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