i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
