My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
