sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
My cat gives me a boner
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize