I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
