two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
