If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
