We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
