I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
