i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Your cock deserves a montage
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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