She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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