My nipple is on Facebook.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
