wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize