That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize