If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
God gave him joint rollers for hands
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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