i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
