you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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