I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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