I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
