70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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