What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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