Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
