She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
