and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
