whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Randomize