Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Randomize
