ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
foreskin is a definite game changer
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize