Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
