tell your sister to shave her snatch
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
so much tequila, so little girl.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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