Is it normal to miss your booty call?
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
