Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize