even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize