i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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