and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He literally asked permission to hit on me
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
