What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
