I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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