If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Two words: blizzard sex
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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