So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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