He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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