New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
