Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
