...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
