I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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